Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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