Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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