STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
