i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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