I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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