I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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