I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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