Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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