you guys were way drunker than both of me
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
