What did we do last night that was yellow?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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