yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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