i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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