Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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