i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
