i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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