Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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