i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
