I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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