So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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