Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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