I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
