Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
