okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
