have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
