I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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