8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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