i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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