We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
