Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
