Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
