I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
