I can't breathe out the right side of my face
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
