i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
