Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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