If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
