can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
