please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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