I think my fart just growled at me.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
