none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
