We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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