gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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