90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
honey bunches of taint.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
