she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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