I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Congratulations! We have a period
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
