Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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