suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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