dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
