you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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