I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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