my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
