before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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