So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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