I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
