lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
