i think my mom watched the whole time
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
smell my finger.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
