The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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