hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
