I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
