You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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