I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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