Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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