i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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