i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
