So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
