how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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