Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
